Friday, October 16, 2009

An "unromantic" Romantic Love

I will admit freely that on many things, I am a romantic. I enjoy all the stupid little things associated with romance - letters, sharing a soda, writing poems - all the like. All the little acts of courtship, all the silly little demonstrations of care.

That being said, I have come to have disdain for the phrase "I fell in love" (even though the song Fell In Love with a Girl by the White Stripes is one of the best songs of the decade). The reason why is that the idea of "falling" is completely passive -- and yet, this really is the "highest" description of romantic love.

Think about it - the "how did you meet stories" are expected to end, "and that's when we fell in love. . ."

Yet consider this - that Love is the Greatest Commandment - be it loving God or loving your neighbor. It is an act, a use of your will to have you act for another's benefit. All the silly old romantic things are active - you write a letter (and then the other must act as well, not even having time for a fast train, because "my baby, she wrote me a letter"). You go out on a date. You get a soda together.

To love, even in the romantic sense, is to act for the benefit of your neighbor. . . it's not a feeling that you fall into. Indeed, your actions of love ought remain the same, when the feeling is not that of "oh, they make me have butterflies in the stomach" - but even exasperation.

Romantic love is active - it is care and sacrifice. Too often, though, we will make it passive and internalized - or at best merely reactive (a la The Way You Make Me Feel by Michael Jackson. . . where since you make me feel good, then I will work to buy you thinks)

Love is action. Show love.

Enjoy funny music videos, if you so wish, like:

Good Enough For Now - by Wierd Al, the greatest country song ever written.

Conventional Lover - by Speck, from Rock Band 2, which is the best love song for herds.

Here, There, and Everywhere by the Beatles, which is what my wife and I had our first dance to.

And. . . well, I tried to find the song that Jay Hobson would dance to at his wedding - my wife and I both did. . . but we couldn't find anything. Sorry.

+++++ Edit +++++

My wife gave me a dirty look because of my giving up on Jay's Romantic endeavors. If you have a suggestion, please link to it in the comments.

+++++ Edit 2 +++++

I'm sorry, Jay, doesn't look like anyone else could think of one either.

(grumblegrumblegrumble what was that about the chairs on my front porch grumblegrumblegrumble)

1 comment:

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