(The lesson for this upcoming Sunday is Luke 15:11-32 - the Prodigal. This isn't quite how it goes)
A man had two sons. The younger son said, "Dad, I wish you were dead so I could have my half of the estate." The father backhanded the boy and said, "There, you got one of my two hands. Be content with that." However, this younger son was clever, and he robbed his father of what the father would never have given and stole away in the night.
The younger son then basically blew through the money (it was over after he ran into Lindsey Lohan - just all down hill from there), and as he was scrounging away in an L.A. coffee shop, slinging Joe to skinny rich girls, longing to have their decaf lattes, he thought, "Wait a second, I should be sponging off of my dad like these broads are. . . how can I weasel my way back into his good graces?" So the younger son took remembered all the dirt he had experienced in his wild days and wrote a tell all book and appeared on TMZ. When the father saw his son on television, he said, "The boy is famous" and called him back home, where he welcomed him and his royalty checks.
The older son, heard this and was very upset, because he had convinced his dad to drop the younger boy out of the will, and now the older son was worried that unless he did something neat, the younger son would get everything. So the older son went out wildcatting for oil, and his father sent him an e-mail and said, "You better find something, because your younger brother is earning his keep. Otherwise, don't bother coming home, cause you aren't worth my time" And the older son finally got sick of everything and moved to Europe to write lousy self-help novels, completely estranged from his family. Then when the father died, he celebrated because his foolish father had forgotten to change the will, but the younger son was okay because he still had his money from the Tabloids to live off of.
Oh, wait, that's not quite how it goes.